A KeyHolder's Handbook

A KeyHolder's Handbook

By Georgia Ivey Green

Rating: Not yet rated.
Published: Nov. 15, 2013
Words: 41,200 (approximate)
Language: American English
ISBN: 9781310522307

Description A complete guide to male chastity. If you are new to male chastity or have been practicing it for years, this book will guide you to a happier sex life. Everything you ever wanted to know about how to sexually tease and torment your partner. How to talk “dirty” to him. What to say, when and how to say it, even if you are shy or embarrassed. Keeping him aroused when he is away. It's all here.

Has your partner been pushing you to lock his manhood up in a chastity device? Are you afraid you won't live up to his expectations? Are you too shy, embarrassed, or uncomfortable talking “dirty” to him in bed (or any other time)? Being a KeyHolder should not be terrifying for any woman. Armed with the information in this handbook, you can become an expert at playing the chastity game. Once you know how to play, he won't stand a chance. This guide will make it easy for any woman to become a KeyHolder for her partner, or any other man, for that matter.

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Chapter 1 – The Game

“Go ahead and close the lock for me baby.
I promise to keep you locked up
for a really, really long time.”

So you want to know what all this fuss is about? You, or your husband, lover, boyfriend, or whoever, has asked you to read this or to be his Mistress, Queen, Goddess, or just plain Key-Holder. You are reading this to see if it is something you are willing to do. It is not unusual that a woman in today's society does not know how to handle a man who wants to be locked in chastity. Well, let me make it easy for you. Do you like games? What about sexually oriented games? If you do, then you will have no problem playing this one. Male chastity is nothing more than a game. And you get to set the rules.

The goals of each player differ, but are very easy to understand. His goal in playing the chastity game is simple; He must convince his Key-Holder to release him and allow him to have a full orgasm. That's it. Simple. Your goal, as his Key-Holder, is to make him go as long as you think he can stand it between orgasms. Again, simple.

There are many different ways to play the game, however. You are in charge of the game and how it is played. What you, as a Key-Holder, choose to do is entirely up to you. You may choose to merely hold the keys as requested, or you may get much more involved and have a great deal more fun. Again, it is your choice to decide how you want to play the game.

What is “Key-Holding” all about, anyway? Put simply, it is about control. It is about controlling him sexually. It is about controlling his ejaculations (or orgasms). It is about maintaining a state of arousal in your man longer than he ever could without your help. It is about erotic, sensual play. Whether you actually use a chastity device of some kind or not, it is about learning how to enjoy a sexual relationship that is more equitable, more enjoyable, and just plain more fun for the both of you, than you have probably ever known before.

Please don't pay much attention to what you read on the Internet about male chastity. It is very different than the way it is so often portrayed. Most of what you will find on the Internet is designed to spur men's fantasies. And it does an excellent job of it. Even though his fantasies are important, the fantasies he gets from the Internet are exaggerated and idealistic. We have to deal with reality and realistic goals and expecations.

It is not like anything you have ever done before. But it is not what most people think it is. It is a means of bringing a couple closer to together in a new and exciting way. Being a Key-Holder is a huge responsibility. Being a Key-Holder is what you make of it. If you are willing to put a little time and effort into it, and use a little imagination, you can achieve a sexual relationship with your “significant other” (partner, husband, boyfriend, lover, or whatever you chose to call him) that you never dreamed was possible. You can bring back all the sexual excitement you felt when you first got together. You can take your sexual enjoyment to new heights, far beyond what you have ever experienced before.

The Two Aspects of Male Chastity

Now that I have your attention, let me explain the two aspects of male chastity and how they differ. The first is orgasm control. It is the simplest of the two aspects. It involves the Key-Holder simply deciding when the chaste male is permitted to have an orgasm. Nothing more. In other words, you will be in charge of the keys to his chastity device. Since it is practically impossible for him to have any kind of orgasm while wearing a properly fitting chastity device, you must release him from his chastity in order for him to get any sort of satisfaction, sexually speaking.

Simply being a Key-Holder does not obligate you to do anything other than decide when he may have an orgasm. However, you may very well want to get more involved than that, especially when you read about all the other fun things that you can do in this game.

The second aspect of the male chastity game is called “tease and denial.” This is the really fun aspect of the game. This is what your partner was thinking about most when he asked you to be his Key-Holder. He wants you to do everything you can think of to sexually tease him and still deny him an orgasm. But exactly how much you choose to do, or not to do, is still your choice.

Tease and denial can be a very time consuming thing. It all depends on how much of it, and what type, you choose to do. We will get into all the things you can do in later chapters, but for now, understand that you can do as much or as little tease and denial as you like.

What if I am wrong and you are the one who wants to play this game, and you are reading this to find out exactly what you have to do? Does your partner need to be “on board” with your plan to use chastity (or tease and denial) as a means of improving your sex lives? No, not really. Chances are, he will once you explain it to him. He has probably had fantasies of being controlled by a beautiful woman before, at one time or another. Even if he hasn't, he will enjoy it. I guarantee that.

Motivations

His motivations for wanting to participate in a male chastity relationship are pretty simple and straight forward. First of all, if he asked you to do it, he has already had fantasies about it. In his mind, you will be the perfect mistress (Key-Holder) for him. You will want to play the control game and the tease and denial game. He may not like all the the things you do, but, again, that doesn't really matter because you are in charge.

He wants you to keep his penis locked up. He also wants you to make him work for his orgasms. You want him to do things to please you. You can always have him give you oral sex or use a vibrator or a dildo on you until you have had all the orgasms you can handle. He will love doing it, especially if you don't let him ejaculate. It is a mind game. He wants you to be “mean” to him. By that he means that he wants you to make him wait, beg, plead, for an orgasm. Then he wants you to deny that orgasm and tease him some more. I know it sounds contradictory, but once you understand it, you will wonder why you didn't do this years ago.

Another reason, or motivation, he may have is that he is feeling submissive and wants you to tell him what to do. This type of man wants to be ordered around. That is, he wants to serve someone, hopefully you. He feels a need to be told what to do. He wants to do the household chores, give you massages, and feel the sting and bite of your paddle when he fails to please you. He also wants you to make him attend to all your needs and desires. Of course, he is hoping that you will want to get heavily involved in the tease and denial aspect we already talked about.

If he was not the one to bring it up as a part of your relationship, then he may need a little convincing. That part is up to you. Ask him to look up “tease and denial” on the Internet and see what he thinks of it. Of course, you can always use your feminine wiles to convince him to give it a try.

Your motivation for wanting to get involved with male chastity might be any of a number of things. Because he asked you to is the most common. However, maybe it is because you think (or know) that he masturbates more than you would like. Or you think he has had and affair and you want to make sure it never happens again. Or maybe, just maybe, you have done a little research and decided it would be fun. Whatever your motives are, you need to be armed with the best information available. And that, my friend, is exactly what this particular handbook is all about.

What Device (if any)?

You might ask yourself if it is really necessary to use a chastity device. Okay, let's take a look at some of the reasons you might want to use a chastity device and even some reasons why you might not.

To start with, putting a chastity device on your man will give him a constant reminder that, not only that you are in charge of his orgasms, but that he cannot do anything about it. In most cases, this will serve as a turn-on for him. He will become aware of every twinge of any erection that he normally gets during the day, which might otherwise go unnoticed. Those twinges will remind him that you are in control. Again, that is a turn-on for most men.

Furthermore, he will get aroused more often simply because he is wearing a chastity device. It will serve as a reminder that he cannot even touch himself unless you remove the device. So by placing him in a chastity device, you have already begun the teasing process. Tease and denial is the means by which you will reach your ultimate goal of a greatly enhanced sexual relationship. A chastity device insures that your partner is not sneaking off to masturbate whenever he feels like it. It also means he won't be having any affairs behind your back. But beyond all that, it will serve as a constant reminder of who is in charge of his genitals.

The Honor System

You might choose not to use a chastity device at all. I call this the honor system. If you choose not to use a device of any kind, you will need to have complete faith that he will not cheat. However, because sometimes a chastity device can cause discomfort to the wearer, you may choose to go without one, at least for awhile. Some chastity devices can cause chaffing and/or irritation. If you don't have one that fits properly, there may even be some pinching or cutting of the skin in places, though this is more rare than common.

There is also the expense of a chastity device to be considered. If the inexpensive (off the shelf) types don't fit properly then you must invest in a more costly, custom made one.

If you decide to use a chastity device, there are a large number of them on the market. Some are more secure than others, but any of them will do unless you think your partner is likely to try to cheat the system. In that case you will want one of the more secure devices. One that will not permit him to 'pull out' of it. By that I mean, he will not be able to get his penis out of the cage no matter what he does. You can find such devices for sale on the Internet by simply doing a search on your favorite search engine.

Securing the Keys

Once you have placed your partner into whatever device you have, you will need to lock it with a small lock (usually provided with the device). There will be two or more keys supplied with the lock. One you should keep hidden securely where he will not be able to find it, or, as many women like to do, wear it around your neck with a chain long enough to allow it to dangle between your breasts. The other key(s) should be placed where your partner can get to it (them) in an emergency, but secured in a way that you will know if he uses one. If you have plastic numbered locks (often supplied with your chastity device or obtainable from many on-line stores), you can use one to lock the key to something secure. For example, one woman I know attached the key with a numbered plastic lock to one of the water lines under her bathroom sink. To use it, her husband would have to cut (or break) the plastic lock to free the key.

Another method of securing the emergency key is to put it in a small envelope with your name or initials across the seal. If it is tampered with, you will be able to tell. Another woman I know actually gave the emergency key to her husband with strict instructions as to when it could be used. Of course, she had a great deal of faith in her husband not to cheat. As I said, the emergency key should be accessible, but not without making it obvious that it has been used.

Of course, you could always use the numbered plastic locks I mentioned above. If you always record the number of the lock currently in use. That way you will certainly know if he has changed it. The advantage to this system of key management, is that no matter where he is, he knows that he can break the lock and remove his chastity cage if he needs to. In other words, he will not need to run home and get the key in an emergency.

If your partner has to make numerous trips through a metal detector, it would be best to invest in a few of the plastic numbered locks. They are very inexpensive and cannot be re-used if removed. Also, if your partner travels a great deal by air, he will need a plastic cage, such as the CB-6000, and plastic locks so he can pass through airport security without being strip-searched each time. Of course, there are times when that, in and of itself, would be fun. The humiliation would be intense. We will cover humiliation and why you may want to incorporate it into your tease and denial routine as we go along.

If your partner does not need a plastic chastity device, then I would recommend a custom made metal device. There are several companies who can provide you with one. They are quite a bit more expensive, often two to three times as much as the plastic versions, but well worth the expense if you plan to keep him chastity for more than a couple of weeks at a time.

Pro's & Con's

Now let's talk about some of the pro's and con's of using a chastity device. The biggest reason I get from people, both men and women, for using a device is to prevent unauthorized masturbation. Whether you know it or not, most men will masturbate when they feel the need, even if they are getting sex on a regular basis. There are many, many reasons for this, most of which boil down to “I wanted to do it,” or “I was horny.” Take your pick. Neither sounds like a valid reason to me.

Another reason to chose a chastity device over the honor system is that it will prevent any affairs he might contemplate. Granted, not all men are unfaithful, but fidelity is guaranteed when using a good metal cage. So if you even think your partner might have an affair, then I highly recommend using one.

So if you are only planning to make him wear it for a weekend or just a few days, then you will not need to keep a close eye on things. On the other hand, if you intend to leave it on for longer periods of time, it takes a watchful eye for the first few weeks to make sure the device is not causing any undue discomfort, such as chaffing or irritation caused by something pinching him in the wrong place. You, not him, will have to make daily inspections for the first week, and two to three times a week thereafter. If he complains or you notice anything out of the ordinary, such as reddening around the scrotum or the base of his penis, remove the device for a few days to make sure it clears up. When you put it back on him, either make some changes or watch it carefully again for any sign that the irritation is returning.

To help prevent such irritations, I recommend using a petroleum jelly such as Vaseline(R) or equivalent to lubricate the inside surfaces of the cage. You can also use Baby Oil Gel(R), but be aware, it will eventually work its way into the skin and need to be reapplied during the day. A good silicone lubricant will also do the job very well. Silicone will not work into the skin, nor will it wear off during the day. It makes an excellent remedy for a chaffing chastity device. It can be washed off with a little soap and water.

Remember also, the chastity device itself can serve as a constant sexual reminder of the one who holds the key and will tend to keep him a little bit aroused during the day. So that alone is a good reason to use a chastity device.

One reason you might not want to use one of these penile cages, is that it can be a hassle removing it and especially replacing it, if you want to physically tease him often. However, I well give you a way to make that a little bit easier. Remember, temporary removal of the chastity device does not necessarily constitute his right to have an ejaculation. You will find that, in order to do the type of teasing you want, you may have to remove the device. But just because it is off does not mean he gets to have a nice orgasm, or any orgasm, for that matter.

~ ~ ~

GIG