How To Set Up An FLR

How To Set Up An FLR

By Georgia Ivey Green
Rating:
(5.00 based on 2 reviews)
Published: Feb. 04, 2013
Words: 41,170 (approximate)
Language: English
ISBN: 9781301374991

This book is meant to be a definitive guide to Female Led Relationships. If you are interested in starting an FLR this book will help. Though there is no objectionable language used in the writing of this book, it does deal explicitly with various aspects of sexuality including, but not limited to, BDSM. If you have ever thought about trying an FLR, or have tried and failed, you need this book.

It will show both men and women how to approach your partner, how to create an agreement, how to take control, how to maintain control and how to avoid major pitfalls of any relationship, FLR or not, and even have some fun doing it. It will help you overcome fears and guilt of being in charge. Whether you are married, living together, or just dating, the information in this book can help you determine what type of relationship suits you best. Whether that happens to be male or female led, makes no difference. The principles are the same.

You will find, chastity, rewards, punishment & discipline, CBT, milking, fantasies, Cross-dressing, humiliation, bi-sexuality, cuckolding, games you can play, and much more all in this one, concise guide. If you have ever been curious about exactly what an FLR is or what it can do for your relationship, you owe it to yourself, and your partner, to read this book.

Where to buy:

Paperback Version
Autographed Version (US Only)

Smashwords (all ebook versions)

Amazon (Kindle & Paperback)

Barns & Noble (Nook version)

Apple iBooks (iPad, iPod, iPhone, etc.)

Chapter 1: Types of Relationships

Whether your current relationship is male or female led makes no difference at this point. What is important is what type of relationship it is. Basically there are four types of relationships as outlined below. It is not really important what type you currently have if it is not really working as well as you would like, but where you ultimately end up is important because the ultimate goal is to bring you both closer together so that you can lead happier, healthier, lives. I won't get into particulars but happier people are generally healthier people.
Though this series is aimed at those who want to explore a female led relationship, the information you will obtain from the questionnaires will help you in creating whatever type of relationship that best suits you and your partner, whether that be female or male led or an equal partnership.
Basically, the ideas laid out in this book can be applied to any relationship between two partners whether straight, gay or lesbian, male led or female led. Even if you just want some pointers on how to improve the relationship you already have, this book can help. Honesty, fidelity, and open communication are the foundation of any strong, healthy relationship. The establishment of a well thought out, negotiated, agreement can certainly improve the stability of any type of relationship no matter who leads it.
One thing you should keep in mind while reading this book. Even though it was written by a woman, the things (yes, including chastity) that I discuss can be adapted to work in any Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship. Though a woman can't very well wear a male chastity device, there are female chastity devices that she can wear. So even though this is written from a female prospective, and is basically aimed at those who want to try an FLR, it still applies to any type of relationship. As far as the BDSM parts go, you are only as kinky as you are. No one says you have to do anything. In fact, I recommend doing only those things you are personally comfortable doing. As your relationship grows, so may your desire to experiment with other BDSM activities. Thus, you have something to which you can refer in the future.
If you think you would not want to be involved in a D/s relationship, let me assure you that you already are, in one form or another. If either you or your partner takes a leading role in your relationship, then you are in a D/s relationship. If you have children, you are in a D/s relationship with them. They are (or should be) submissive to you. If you have a job with a boss, you are in a D/s relationship. I hope you can see where all this going. Almost everyone in the world is in a D/s relationship of one kind or another. So don't fail to read the parts of this book that deal with D/s simply because you think you don't want that kind of relationship.
As I said before, there are four basic types of relationships and I have outlined them below.


The Co-op:
In a Co-op, both partners have an equal say in what happens. That is to say, neither partner would run out and purchase a car without first consulting the other. There would be discussions about where the money was to come from, how much they are both willing to spend, and what the car is to be used for. In addition, there might even be discussions about the brand of automobile to purchase, the exact model and even the color it should be. In a Co-op, most of the household chores would also be divided taking into account such things as who has the most free time, how long is each chore expected to take, and who is better suited to doing certain chores. Things like mowing the lawn, trimming the weeds and shrubs, raking leaves, etc. might be left to the stronger of the pair. While chores such as washing dishes, taking out the garbage, and sweeping and mopping floors, take less physical effort, and are usually done more often. Things like the preparation of meals might be equally shared.
All in all, if you have some sort of Co-op relationship, you share in the decision making. To what exact degree may vary, but in the end, you share in most decisions. This type of relationship would be idyllic, if it always worked. However, because men and women are not created equal (something I will talk about later) there is bound to be some imbalance in the way things work in your Co-op. Creating a well written agreement can often resolve many disputes with little conflict.


Democracy:
More accurately, a partial Democracy. In this type of relationship, one partner (call him/her the Leader) has certain decision-making powers that normally go unquestioned. While other decisions require consultation between both partners (Leader and follower). Taking our new car example from above, both parties must certainly agree that a new car is warranted, but the decision as to what make and model may be left to the dominant partner (the Leader).
Things like minor household chores would be assigned by the leading partner with limited input from the other. Such things as who will do which chores usually falls on the Leader to decide, because he or she is the one who gets things done. Also, when spending the evening out, it may fall to the Leader to determine where to dine, what movie to see at the theater, or in what other activities you, as a couple, will participate.
In these Democratic relationships, the finances are normally handled by the dominant partner but large expenses (such as a vacation or a new car) will always be discussed and mutually agreed upon prior to any actual out-lay of cash. Even some smaller expenses may require both partner's approval. The Lesser of the two can always petition the Leader for just about anything he or she desires without any consequences.


Shipboard:
In this type of relationship, the dominant partner (the Captain) makes most decisions without consulting the other (the First Mate). He or she will most definitely handle the finances and will, when there is a major expense (such as a new car), consult with the First Mate. The First Mate only gives his or her input when it is asked for. It is the First Mate's job to point out alternatives, but the Captain has the final word. For example: The Captain may decide a new car is in order. If the First Mate suggests that perhaps a new used car would serve the purpose, the Captain may consider buying a used car instead. But the final decision is always that of the Captain. In this type of relationship, the Captain (or dominant partner) takes responsibility for the overall success or failure of the relationship.
When it comes to household chores, the Captain will, without a doubt, make the decision as to who will do what. That does not mean that the Captain will not perform any chores, it simply means he or she will make the final decision. In this type of relationship, the First Mate will be able to make certain decisions on his or her own without having to discuss it first. But this is a limited decision-making ability. He or she is normally given an allowance that they may spend at their own discretion, such as money to buy food, pay bills, and even make small purchases for themselves. But in the end, it is the Captain's responsibility to make sure that everything gets done.


Dictatorship:
This type of relationship is often called the Master/slave (or Mistress/slave) style. As with any dictatorship in the world, the Dictator is totally in charge. He or she does whatever they want and everyone else is subject to his or her will. All money is controlled by the Dictator as is everything else. The Dictator will assign chores and possibly even time limits as to when those chores are to be done. If the Dictator wants a new car, he or she will go out and buy one without so much as a 'how do you do' to the other partner.
A Dictator's power extends far beyond the financial arena. He or she will determine punishments whenever it suits him or her. Never would a Dictator ask his or her partner for permission to do anything. Normally, however, the partner must obtain permission to do anything other than what they are told to do.
This might sound terrible, but the truth is, many people live very happy lives in this type of relationship. Many people actually live this way and do not even realize it. Some want it, but don't have it. Others have it, but don't want it. The thought of being relieved of all responsibility, except for that which the Dictator orders, is very appealing to some.
The truth is, most of us live in some blending of two of the above types of relationships, but once you answer the questions later in this book, you will be able to determine not only what type your relationship is, but what type you would be happiest living in. There are varying degrees of each type, and exactly how much power each person in any given relationship has also varies. There are other factors that contribute to the health of any given relationship as well. I will get to those in a later chapter, but for now, let's move on to those factors that help make any relationship a success.

~ ~ ~